"Free-Range Knitter"

I recently picked up a copy of "Free-Range Knitter: the Yarn Harlot Writes Again" by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee.

I was somewhat skeptical. I have seen her blog, and while I do not dislike it, I also never really got into it*. I am not a huge blog reader in general, and I am not much of a person for books that are collections of stories or essays. But, I thought I would give it a try, and I am really glad I did. I enjoyed it immensely; it was honest, thoughtful, insightful and rather witty. It is the kind of writing (aside from perhaps a few style changes) that I always wished I could do.

One of the things I really appreciated about it was that it made me feel more like I belonged. I am neither a very good nor a very fast knitter. I knit because I find the movements relaxing, I like that my boredom can be turned into a sock, I have a somewhat unhealthy addiction to string, and I always feel like I need to be doing something with my hands in order to be really comfortable. Most of my knitting to date has been lumpy dishrags (garter stitch squares of cotton) and basic stockinette socks. I don't look at a pattern and immediately go "I can do that!" Actually, my reactions to interesting patterns are usually jealousy (I wish I could do that), longing (I need that beautiful bit of string), or frustration (even if I get up the courage to do it, it will take forever and come out wrong).

So, I have never really felt like a real knitter. I think about knitting a lot (I think about string more often) but I always feel that I can't be a real knitter until it becomes intuitive. I watch women knitting at yarn stores or gatherings or in public and they knit complex lacy bits of knitting without seeming to need to follow a pattern or even look at their hands. Whereas, I cling desperately to my pattern and make little tally marks to track where I am as I go along. That isn't to say that I think the knitting community is unwelcoming - I have actually found them to be quite the opposite. And, as I have become more exposed to knitters in general I have started to feel more open not only to the fact that despite my deficits I might just be a knitter and maybe just maybe I can start to pick up more complex patterns. But for some reason, I needed to hear the author talking about all sorts of different knitters to be able to truly feel like my own particular idiosyncratic tendencies as a knitter have their place. It helped to bring home to me that I am a knitter when I found myself laughing at the knitting-related references/jokes; it helped to draw me into the shared experience that is being a knitter.

I was a little envious (ok extremely envious) of how much the author is able to find knitting time. I have tried traveling with my knitting but I can't seem to manage it in most circumstances (although it never occurred to me to bring my knitting to the movie theater). I found the bus I was too squished and confined; I think I need my elbows to steer when I am knitting which is difficult to do when I am trying to politely hold them in at my sides. Walking by itself is hazardous at the best of times for me so the idea of walking and knitting seems ludicrous (I used to walk home from school and read at the same time and to this day I am not sure how I managed to keep myself from getting hit by a car). And then there is my charting problem. I need my pattern, especially as I start to explore more complicated applications for my knitting. And while my sock knitting has helped me to better understand how things go together to the point that I am starting to learn how to fix my mistakes I still couldn't turn a heel without my pattern.

So knitting has become sort of a special treat for me. It is special time I steal for myself to play with string. It relaxes and inspires me at the same time even if I am frustrated by how little I get to do compared to how much I want to. Some day I will get to knit all the complex things I am afraid of. Someday I will find the courage to frog something I truly loved that didn't turn out. And some day my stash will be epic and will I make no apologies for that.

So Thank you Stephanie Pearl-McPhee for helping to solidfy in my own mind that I am a knitter. It was a wonderful journey and I shall be looking for more of your books.

*In fairness my visual/tactile learning style can't handle reading that isn't a fiction based novel (I think my dreams of grad school are probably doomed).