Why must everything have to make a statement?

I recently joined a "trashy bookclub".  We started by reading a somewhat trashy book.  However, everyone decided that they would rather not spend time reading books they weren't really interested in so we modified it a bit to "books that wouldn't make pretentious book lists." 

Recently, we read the book "Austenland".  I absolutely thoroughly loved it.  It is about a young woman who seems to base all of the men she meets upon the Mr. Darcy character from "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen.  As you can imagine, this has some negative consequences.  A rich relative dies and leaves her a two week vacation in an immersive Jane Austen experience.  Here she is confronted with her own neurotic ideas about love and relationships.  She learns something from this experience.  And while not entirely cured of her odd notions (it is only a two week vacation), she grows up a little.  She also finds romance. 

I admit the character is odd and neurotic and not entirely likable at times.  But,  I also really identified with her.  I think the fact that she wasn't "practically perfect in every way" was refreshing and made the store that much more believable.  And, yes the romance was a little over the top at times, but there was truth to that kind of falling in love...I know because parts of it reminded me of my own romance story.

Others in the book club did not share my viewpoints.  They felt that it was a negative example of women spending all their time looking for a man and that the reason women were neurotic was because of books like this.  While I respect their right to feel differently about the book, it does trigger the one thing that bothers me....why does everything always have to make a statement?

Don't get me wrong.  There are all sorts of things in our culture that anger me about how women are treated and viewed and occasionally repressed.  I am also truly grateful for women like Susan B. Anthony and the suffragettes who made great strides for women's rights.  Feeling respect and pride in what these women have done does not mean that I can't love a really great romance.

And the truth is, while I am a strong and confident woman in my own right, I am also neurotic.  I am imperfect.  I like cake more than exercise.  I get angry about the injustices of the world but do nothing about them.  I have very strong opinions about the right types of paperclips.  I snore and talk in my sleep.  I get up tight when things aren't put away and the doors aren't locked in triplicate.  And, while I may not be proud of these things, they are a part of who I am. 

The author created a story that contained some truth.  Reading a book about a woman with some slightly neurotic tendencies, spoke to me.  And the somewhat unrealistic romance....it left me breathless.  I was moved in a way that I haven't been in quite some time and I really love escaping into fiction.

Her second book "Midnight in Austenland" involves a mystery and some more intrigue.  However again in this book, a woman who has broken by love is able to find a chance to have it again.  No, a woman's whole worth does not center on whether or not she has a man.  I don't believe that at all.  I do however believe that love is a beautiful amazing thing to be blessed with.  It doesn't make a person more complete but it can make life better in its own way.  If love wasn't that magical, we wouldn't allow ourselves to be so hurt by it.

I do think both books (particularly the second) make a strong statement about the importance of finding one's own strength.  It can have a healing effect and can open doors.  Both heroines found love after they found their own confidence, and the men they found, loved them for who they were...neuroses and all.

All that aside, these books won't make the top of women's lib fiction. They do both contain beautiful stories.  I really love  a good beautiful story and particularly a beautiful romance.

Knitting!

I made the hat last year and wanted a pair of mittens to go with it.  It figures I would finish it just as the weather warms up :)

Thank you...

Earlier this summer, someone sent me an anonymous book...I finally had the chance to read it.  I enjoyed it.  Thank you for the interesting read and for thinking of me.

Thoughts on mysteries

I just started my detective fiction course for school and I thought that his assignment might help better expound upon some of the things I have been trying to convey through this blog for some time.

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There is something comforting about a murder mystery or at least certain murder mysteries for me. I am speaking particularly of the ones where one finds oneself in a small hamlet, with an over large cemetery. These are the ones where every time you meet a new character they are either a victim or a murderer. Stir in a lead character with some pluck and let the mayhem ensue. It is a little certainty in an uncertain world for me as a reader. I particularly like mysteries where the lead sleuth is an amateur. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be Jessica Fletcher when I grew up, and I am still drawn to that kind of mystery novel protagonist.

I didn’t cut my teeth on Sherlock Holmes like most people do. I always thought there was something pretentious about Sherlock Holmes that made me less interested in reading those stories. It wasn’t until the recent BBC production of Sherlock Holmes that I saw a version of him that I was drawn to, and having heard the portrayal is generally accurate to the novels, I have been excited to read the books. Doyle has been in my reading queue for a bit, so the fact that I get to read them for this class is an added bonus.

Anyway, my first real eye-opening introduction to mysteries came when I was about 10 with “Angie’s First Case” by Donald Sobol (of Encyclopedia Brown fame). It was the first chapter book I had really been engaged in, and the first time I was so enthralled by a book that I curled up and read it cover to cover on a Saturday afternoon. I loved the experience so much I have been afraid to re-read it for fear that it would no longer be what I imagined it to be. For this reason, I have lost most of the story line and couldn’t offer much comment.

My favorite mystery/thriller novel though is probably “Cranes of Ibycus” by Mary Craig. This was a book my mom picked up at a library book sale when I was a teenager which I promptly borrowed. It was so much more then I expected to be, and the story was so driving that I couldn’t put it down. A couple of years ago, my mom gave me the book when I asked if I could borrow it again. As much as I was afraid of the disappointed nostalgia, I fell in love with it all over again. I tend to prefer the type of mystery where an amateur gets caught up in a complex problem (murder or otherwise) they can’t solve, and the story becomes a journey through all of the clues and processes that lead them to a resolution. Many times, and “Cranes of Ibycus” is not an exception, the character grows through this experience and there is nothing more important to me in a story of any genre of fiction then character development.

This book is not a murder mystery per se and it certainly isn’t detective fiction. But it is does feel so thrilling while one is reading it. The characters are ones that you can care about which is actually a fairly important factor in a novel for me because it means that you start to care about the same things they do and one can get caught up in those near-death or near-awesome experiences. It is an out-dated and out-of-print book but one of the most enjoyable reads I have ever had.

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Actually writing this I found that there is another out-of-print book by Mary Craig and I purchased it on Amazon. I may have to wait until June to read it but I wanted to find some of that same reading experience again.

Winter Break

My winter break has been lovely in that I have really enjoyed getting back to reading books for me. Of course, I didn't even make a dent in my list because a friend of mine introduced me to a new author, Jennifer Cruise. She has been exactly what I needed to the point that even books I was looking forward to reading couldn't hold my attention when I know there is a Cruise novel that I haven't read yet.

Granted it is chic lit, and you can see Cruise's formula after you read a few. It makes no illusions to being amazing classical literature. However the author delivers strong, quirky female characters that as a reader you can't help but cheer for. These women are beautiful in their individuality and the romances are fun and exciting if a little too fast to jump the "forever" hurdle. (However, I dated my husband for years before we got married so I am probably more cautious then most).

My friend bought me a copy of "Bet Me" and gave it to me on New Year's. I started the book at 10 pm and read it straight through until 6 am. I didn't have to work that day so I just basked in the luxury of being fully immersed in a book.

Spring semester starts this week and I am taking a Detective Fiction class so my reading list will switch back to required reading. Having picked up my books for class, I am really excited about the list this semester. This is the class I am taking for me. I already have my lit requirement, but I couldn't NOT take this class.

I have been a bit of a hermit this weekend. I went to Sow's Ear with some friends on Saturday and talked about books and movies with two fabulous women I know. But Sunday I just curled up and watched Netflix and worked on knitting my new winter hat. I was able to get it done, but it means that I didn't get much else done. It is this pattern and I used Cascade Eco Duo for the hat. I have to say Cascade yarn's are just a pleasure to knit with and Eco is a new favorite. It was so soft, the springy-ness was just right, and I loved watching the colorway progress. I have some more and I want to make some matching mittens.

I need to go back to being productive. I recently got a promotion at work which I am enjoying for the most part, but it is a significant increase in my work load. So, even though today is a holiday, I need to go be productive. I have a pot of Earl Grey and I am pretending I also have a healthy supply of motivation.

Wonderstruck!

The first book I picked up in my "books I want to read" whirlwind (what Algrebra?) was Wonderstruck by Brian Selznick. It is a young adult novel which contained two stories, one illustrated and one written, that become woven together later on. It was a lovely read. I love how unique this type of storytelling is, and the way the stories are told adds something to the experience. One of the characters is deaf so seeing her story rather than being told her story really brings the character to life. I loved the illustrations. It was the type of illustration I was always drawn to as a child, and I find comforting as an adult. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

I got to meet Gail Carriger

Yay! TeslaCon was this weekend and one of the main draws for me was the opportunity to get a chance for an autograph from Gail Carriger author of the Parasol Protectorate (Soulless) series. I really loved the book Soulless and the series itself would probably be my favorite if it weren't for the unfortunate issues at the end of book 2.

One of the events at the Con was a reading with both Gail Carriger and George Mann. (I didn't know much about the later, but I had heard he had some work with Doctor Who so I was intrigued. He seems to write mystery/detective fiction himself so I picked up a book of short stories he was selling at the event and an autograph from him as well). They both read short stories/excerpts and answered questions during the panel. Ms. Carriger read from a short story that has not been published yet (and sadly we don't know if it will be) that was really wonderful. During the Q&A session she talked a little bit about how she can tell if her work appeals to her sci-fi fan base or her romance fan base because of their reactions to the ending of book 2. The sci-fi fans are used to tragedy and horrific cliffhangers while the romance fans tend to feel more betrayed by the book 2 issue. It put the books into perspective for me and the series in general, and so I plan to go back and re-read it with fresh eyes.

I think this panel was my favorite of the Con. The two of them had excellent things to say about the craft, about books in general, they really opened my eyes to some things, I heard really drool-worthy things about Carriger's next series, and I may have been introduced to a new author. Yay! The rest of the event was a bonus after that.

I also came to realize that tea may become a requirement for my happiness. About half way through the day I kept thinking, dammit if I could only have a cup of tea. Alexia Tarabotti knows what she's talking about.

There is more to come about what I have been working on the last few months as well as the Con in general but I need to do some homework.

In the interim - a video about an 1870s gown that I saw on Ms. Carriger's site:
http://www.indigomultimedia.com/portfolio/art-of-dressing

Murder Mysteries

My general love (bordering on obsession) of the murder mystery genre has often been mentioned here in this journal. Recently I have been watching Murder She Wrote on Netflix while I knit. It is good background noise to keep my brain busy and I can tune it out when I need to concentrate.

When I was a kid I loved this show. My dad and I were both night owls and there was often Murder She Wrote reruns on TV. I grew up wanting to be like Jessica Fletcher when I was older. In fact I think she is the reason I once harbored desires to be a writer. The show isn't nearly as brilliant as I remember but nostalgia does excellent things for the palate.

I also have been enjoying the Geraldine McEwan as Miss Marple. I don't really enjoy most versions of this but there is something sort of sassy and naughty but for the most part still respectable about her portrayal.

On the book front, I have been reading the Lady Julia Grey novels by Deanna Raybourn. I enjoyed the first two very much but I am less enthralled as I go through the series. I do have to say that this author knows how to write an opening page. I have some other general issues with her style and that may be what is making me loose interest. I will finish reading the current one and try her next before I make any decisions.

March/April Updates and Other Things

Sorry for the generally lame blog titles. Given that I am approaching once a month posts this seems a fitting theme for my titles. And as this is an update, things may ramble and jump around a bit as I try to touch on all the things I wanted to share.

I have vaguely eluded to the fact that my work life has sort of sucked as of late. In general I like my job and my bosses. However, due to a series of unfortunate coincidences I have been doing the job of two people by myself since mid-December (though I am willing to argue almost 9 months but feel somewhat unkind in doing so). Anyway, while the over time has been awesome, the lack of personal time is making for a crabby and generally unhappy me. Projects have been accumulating around the house at an alarming rate and my ability to care about them has dropped progressively. I know this sounds angry and unpleasant and sort of defeatist but that is how I am feeling...defeated. It will improve I know and there is light at the end of this tunnel. It is just a slow process getting there.

To combat all of the general ickyness and malaise, I have been taking what spare time I can and pouring it into string. I finished the lovely leaves and fishies scarf. I am currently blocking it. I am very bad at blocking. There will be more pictures once it is blocked and the weather improves enough that I feel safe taking it outside.



I also started the Pretty as a Peacock shawl. I don't like lace in general. I just think it looks too fussy. Some of it can be beautiful but most of it just isn't my style. But this shawl is so indescribably beautiful. I know myself however and did not want to pay the expense of a project I would never finish. The deal was I had to finish the leaves/fishie scarf first before I was allowed to purchase the materials for and start the peacock shawl. Having accomplished the first task I decided I deserved the chance to play with the shawl. It is slow going and a bit more complex then I may be ready for but the silk I found is so perfect and the pattern is just lovely. I am excited. My goal is to have it done by halloween. wish me luck!



Above is my progress thus far. This was taken during one of my recent visits to Sow's Ear with two amazing ladies for a day full of tea and giggles and string and general awesomeness. The little sheep in the picture is Simon but there will be more about him during another post.


I have also been reading a great deal. Mostly just murder mysteries which I know some people consider fluff, but I have to say I don't really care. I grew up reading mysteries and have re-discovered my joy for them as an adult. And, I honestly feel that even though the writing is not always superb and the plot sometimes predictable, I have learned more from the time I have spent with mysteries then I ever did from the agonizingly painful process of the steady reading that comes from classical literature. Don't get me wrong, there is some truly brilliant classical literature out there (and really in any genre if you look hard enough), but so much of it is just depressing. My brain enjoys the plot dissection that comes with a good (or even a bad) murder mystery.

That said, I am not sure I liked the book "Virals" by Kathy Reichs. It was a foray into young adult fiction. The book was okay I guess. I think my disappointment is more that I come to expect something different from her then what this delivered. I sometimes wonder if I might have liked it better if she had used a different pen name.

I am still continuing my journey through young adult fiction. I did really enjoy the book "Revolution"...up to a point. At first I was uncertain where the author was taking me, and then as things developed I was really excited to take that journey with her. Things got a little weird towards the end though and I am not sure I was able to follow. I think I am interested enough in the authors style though to try some of her other novels.

Next up on my reading list: "The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake". Honestly, I picked up the book because of the title alone. I am not sure where the the book is going to go but I am intrigued.

I had a lovely conversation about the books I loved as a child with my workout buddy last night. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love talking about books with other people. We talked about shared favorites and why we love them. We talk about the fear of re-reading books we loved as a child in case we no longer enjoyed them. And we talked about that amazing feeling when the book still touches your heart.

One of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman, recently posted a blog regarding his friendship with the late Diana Wynne Jones (another amazing writer). Mr. Gaiman is pretty amazing in his own right and to hear him talk about his respect/admiration for her gave me a little more faith in humanity. One of that parts of the post that has stayed with me was a quote of hers: "Children are much more careful readers than adults," she'd say. "You don't have to repeat everything for children. You do with adults, because they aren't paying full attention." I certainly agree. I am consistently frustrated when I read a series how each book has to beat the reader over the head with the back story found in prior books. I am also a little worried that perhaps my distance from childhood is why I could not follow some of the other authors I have been reading lately. I am becoming too much of an adult. I find this very sad.

Today was a day for getting things done though. I cleaned out my desk (which took some doing), cleaned all the winter mud from the front foyer, got a haircut (I was rather shaggy, got some laundry done, and did a little reading. I wanted to knit a row or two of my shawl though and hopefully I can catch up with some friends after that.

Snow Day and other February Updates

So I am a little behind but better late than never I suppose. Work has been difficult as of late. It is manageable over all, and while I don't really want to go into it, i hit my breaking point in early February and opted to take a personal day before I made a stupid decision based on my mood.

It turned out to be a brilliant stroke of planning as we ended up getting blizzard conditions and the city shut down. I have lived in Wisconsin my whole life and have seen my share of winter storms, but this was a new experience for me. It wasn't really the snow that was the issue. We only had about 4-6 inches. It was the wind. I got caught out in it briefly coming home from bus stop. The force o the wind left me a little disoriented on a few times and I occasionally couldn't open my eyes because of all the debris it picked up. It only got worse from there. At one point I looked out the window at the howling wind and was a little unnerved by the scene outside. It was like something out of a sci-fi/fantasy movie.

The weather made for a perfect day to stay in my pajamas and get stuff done around the house. I got all my laundry done AND folded. This is almost unheard of for me. I got the kitchen cleaned and promptly made a mess again. I have been long to make this caramel-apple pie and had some apples to use up, so I decided to tackle it.

Essentially, you make the crust, the apple filling, and the caramel sauce all separately, assemble them together, and then bake it in the oven to meld them all together. I am utter rubbish at sauces so the caramel sauce didn't turn out quite as caramel-ly as I had hoped for texture wise but the flavor was there. It was a lot of fuss (and a lot of dirty dishes), but overall I think it turned out well if slightly too sweet.

Because my husband can't have apples, I also made a cake for him. Nothing special; just a quick mix. Of course, domestic bliss was short-lived when I burnt dinner while I was on the phone talking to my mother and ignoring the simmer that had turned into a boil.

I applied for school for this fall, got some knitting done, and even played some video games. It was exactly what I needed as far as days of go, and because I was so productive, I could spend Saturday with my friends drinking tea and knitting. I am only 2 repeats away from finishing the lace scarf. Hooray!

Later on in the month I came down with a nasty respiratory infection. Normally when I am sick, I hunker down with some tea and string and bad movies and fell sorry for myself. However, I was so sick and feeling so lousy the best I could manage was to prop up a book on my pillow and lay in bed. (This was probably a good thing because I was reading the Mortal Instruments series and couldn't put them down. I would have been completely non-functional until I had finished them, so while I hated being sick, I had a good reason to stay in bed reading). The URI knocked me completely low. I ended up needing an inhaler to help me breath for a bit.

And I love love loved the Mortal Instruments series. It was angsty or sure and occasionally annoying that nothing good ever seemed to happen for these characters until the end of the 3rd book. But I couldn't put them down. I am debating whether or not I want to read the 4th book which is coming out in April. They were so dark for so long and the 3rd book had such a satisfying ending I am afraid to jinx it.

Fallen

I recently finished Fallen by Lauren Kate. It is a book aimed at the young adult/teenage audience. It is difficult to describe without giving away too much of the later half of the book. The first 3/4 is mostly setup of the characters and there is a lot of angsty soul-searching on the part of the heroine.

I am not really what one would call "well-read". I read a lot to be sure but not one would call "steady" reading. Most of the books on the list of books a person is supposed to have read I have found endlessly boring and have preferred to stick with books that amuse my brain rather than strengthen it.

However, I realized that there was a lot of really great fiction geared towards young adults that I missed when I was a teen. I read a lot of best-seller/murder-mystery type books at that time in my life. I have been trying to read more of what I missed.

The thing I like about the fiction written for this age group is it lacks some of the...and I have been wrestling to come up with the right word for it...but it lacks some of the pretentiousness and the boundaries that come when writing fiction for adults. And not even sci-fi and fantasy are able to overcome those boundaries.

I am not sure why but for some reason when I open the cover of a young adult novel, I feel like the author is giving me much more freedom as a reader to explore my own imagination within the structure of the world they are creating in the book. Maybe we loose something as adults as we get older and become more experienced that we expect the fiction written to target an adult audience mirror. Maybe we loose something as we gain wisdom and perhaps it is the connection to our imagination. Which is odd because there is quite enough examples of junk literature cluttering the adult fiction section. And I am certainly guilty of considering the devouring of a brain-candy novel before a more serious tome.

But even where the fiction is light and unencumbered it still lacks the freedom that youth fiction has.

Anyway, Fallen was in a recommended reading list based upon other books I had read so I thought I would give it a shot. It was pretty angsty. Don't get me wrong - at 15 I would have gobbled up every word and probably not left my room until I had poured through the whole series. I still have enough of a connection to that part of myself to see how it would have appealed to me. However, I have also lost enough of it to find it somewhat unpalatable now. I am not sure that I want to finish the series. I may but I am just not the sort of person the book is really written for.

You can't always go back to who you were and what you used to love I guess. I am finding this out when I try to re-visit some of my old favorite TV shows. Occasionally nostalgia is ruined when one attempts to re-discover.

Small Comforts...

There is something comforting about a murder mystery or at least certain murder mysteries. I am speaking particularly of the ones where one finds oneself in a small hamlet, with an over large cemetery. These are the ones where every time you meet a new character they are either a victim or a murderer. Stir in a lead character with some pluck and let the mayhem ensue. It is a little certainty in an uncertain world.

I am generally a fan of mystery type shows by which I mean at the beginning of the show there is a problem which through a series of steps clues begin to unfold leading the cast down a path of twists and turns ending up at a resolution. And they come in so many delightful forms these days: Castle, Bones, Leverage, etc

But every once in a while I like to return to the classics. Maybe it was all those late nights watching Murder, She Wrote reruns with my dad.

On Jane Austen and other things

As of late my biggest project for the last couple of months has been buying and moving into our new condo. I think I am officially a grown up now (or if I wasn't after getting married I am now). I haven't been doing much crafting in general, I am not in the right frame of mind to play with recipes, and even my knitting has been only plodding along.

I have been reading however. My latest brain candy are a series of mysteries utilizing Mr. & Mrs. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice fame. The series isn't brilliant literature by any stretch and the author occasionally over uses stereotypes to an annoying degree but overall they have been enjoyable reads. I have waxed poetic (that is a nice of way saying I was unreasonably indignant) over my absolute disgust at the whole "Classic novel + Monster" series that has been showing up on bookshelves of late. I am somewhat mollified that Jane Austen has not been the only target but only slightly.

While I am waiting for the next two books in the series to come to my local library, I picked up Pride and Prejudice again. I haven't read it in a while because the movie adaptation is so faithful to the book I haven't really needed to. But there were a few things I had forgotten and wanted to get re-acquainted again. In doing so I think I discovered what it is about Ms. Austen's works that is so important to me. Her characters are so perfectly drawn that you can really imagine them - good qualities and bad. They feel more real than any of the other characters I have enjoyed in novels. Re-reading Jane Austen is like being re-acquainted with long lost friends. Which why the idea of having my "friends" eaten by sea monsters or zombies is so entirely unpalatable to me. (Well, that and it doesn't need fixing). So while I don't mind reading some Austen based fiction (as long as the author remains true to the original characters) I do have a problem with Austen-based abominations.

In any case, my brain is getting stuffed full of fun literary bits at present even if my string habit is being somewhat neglected. I am almost finished with my fingerless mitts and am very close to the half way point on my lace scarf.

In other news, Sharon Shinn has a new book coming out in October...SQUEEE

Reading...

As of late my reading list has been mostly the Temperance Brennan series by Kathy Reichs. I have long been a fan of mysteries though I wouldn't say that I would read just any mystery. I have to find either the characters or the concept palatable. Which doesn't mean that they are necessarily "good" fiction...just "tasty" fiction. And, I really like this series. I like the science; I like the concept; and I like the way the story progresses. It has even helped me find appreciation for the series Bones. I have always thought that this was a show I should like but could never get into. It turns out I needed to see the pilot. It made the rest of the series make sense, and has been my brain candy for the last few months as I work through back episodes.

In between my dives into the world of forensic anthropology there have been a few other side adventures. I picked up a copy of some of Jane Austen's short stories and essays that she wrote as a young woman. They were interesting and you could really get a sense of what a clever woman she was. They weren't brilliant necessarily but it was evident that hers was a mind that didn't often get to use itself to its full capacity. It was unlike anything I have ever read. I didn't get through all of it but I think it will be worth a revisit every now and again (though perhaps not in a full dose all at once).

It also seems I have a strongly tuned radar for Jane Austen inspired modern fiction. I don't always read them but I am always curious. I recently picked up Vanity and Vexation by Kate Fenton and was pleasantly surprised. It is a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice but the author I think took pains not to make it the exact same novel. All the elements were there (well mostly) but they were used differently enough to make the story interesting. I of course knew where the novel was going from the first page (at least generally) but I didn't mind riding along with the author to get there. It worked. I have certainly read worse. And of course there are some "adaptations" I refuse to believe exist.

There is also another kind of book I need to find more of...autobiography/biographies in which food/recipes play a role in the storytelling. Books about food have always been comforting and I have stumbled upon a few books in which the author shares their story with the support of kitchens, recipes, and food. I have enjoyed them and need to find more...I am just not quite sure how to go about searching for them.

Books and Knitting

I recently stopped by Frugal Muse in Madison to see if I could find any other copies of books by the Yarn Harlot and was pleased to find one. I of course needed to browse through the rest of the string section and found an inexpensive copy of "In Praise of the Needlewoman" by Gail Carolyn Sirna. Essentially it is a selection of art work spanning 1595-19something showing women playing with string in some manner or other: embroiderers, knitters, lacemakers, etc.

A brief glance through and I found a selection of paintings I always really liked and so I picked it up. And I am glad I did because there are some really wonderful images in there, many of which I have never seen before. It also has me re-assessing some of my favorite paintings. I always thought what drew me to them was the domesticity of woman working on some sort of project. It is what has always interested me about research in the SCA. I don't care at all about wars and kings and trade agreements. It is the domestic arts of history that I want to know more about, and apparently, the more they involve string the better. So, all in all I found the book a lovely bit of eye and brain candy. I have read a few blurbs but sadly I must admit that most of my perusal has been just to look at the pictures.

In other news, yesterday, I needed a bit of me time so I drove over to the Sow's Ear for some happy knitting and coffee time. String really does transcend boundaries. For some reason I can chat with strangers when my hands are full of string and needles. It is kind of a fascinating phenomenon. Anyway, while there I decided to pick up a copy of "The Complete Guide to Natural Dyeing" by Eva Lambert and Tracy Kendall. I haven't been able to afford a copy of the out-of-print "Wild Color" and this book had some similar features that I really liked. I think I also want to pick up a copy of "Teach Yourself Visually: Hand-Dyeing" by Barbara Parry to round out my background information. It had some different techniques and a different approach to teaching. Hopefully between the two I will get a good base knowledge before I start playing with dyes this summer (or at least that is the plan).

As for my knitting right now I have a ridiculous amount of stuff on my needles (at least for me). And I am starting to really branch out in the stuff I am willing to try and the things I want to make. However, I am also finding myself increasingly frustrating at my skill level with knitting. I very desperately need my pattern when it is anything other than garter or stockinette. I need to make little check marks and tallys and I need to re-write things if the original pattern isn't clear enough for me to follow. I know so many knitters who seem to be able to just knit by memory complex laces, socks, and sweaters, and I am completely unfunctional without my pattern. That isn't to say I am not learning. I am starting to recognize mistakes, I am getting better at reading my knitting, and I am even able to look at something when it is finished and understand how it could have been improved with some changes to the pattern but I certainly don't feel comfortable re-working the whole thing. I am also afraid to frog anything unless it is in the early stages. Even if I am unhappy with the results it seems horrific to me just to pull the whole thing apart.

I really want to make a sweater for myself. I have all the tools. The thing is the sweater I want to make has this sort of empire waste where above is just basic knitting and below is the lace pattern. For my basic person I think that in order for it to be flattering the lace will need to start below my breasts. The original model is a significantly more petite woman with much more perky breasts and from some of the other examples I have seen online the sweater really isn't flattering if it doesn't fall correctly. I don't know how to take my swatch piece and then from that figure out how the pattern is going to fall with the increased size so that I can make a flattering sweater from the onset and make alterations if needed. I will be heartbroken if it turns out poorly I think even though I know it is a first attempt. This is where clinging so desperately to my patterns is becoming a problem.

I will get there. I am just not very patient.

"Free-Range Knitter"

I recently picked up a copy of "Free-Range Knitter: the Yarn Harlot Writes Again" by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee.

I was somewhat skeptical. I have seen her blog, and while I do not dislike it, I also never really got into it*. I am not a huge blog reader in general, and I am not much of a person for books that are collections of stories or essays. But, I thought I would give it a try, and I am really glad I did. I enjoyed it immensely; it was honest, thoughtful, insightful and rather witty. It is the kind of writing (aside from perhaps a few style changes) that I always wished I could do.

One of the things I really appreciated about it was that it made me feel more like I belonged. I am neither a very good nor a very fast knitter. I knit because I find the movements relaxing, I like that my boredom can be turned into a sock, I have a somewhat unhealthy addiction to string, and I always feel like I need to be doing something with my hands in order to be really comfortable. Most of my knitting to date has been lumpy dishrags (garter stitch squares of cotton) and basic stockinette socks. I don't look at a pattern and immediately go "I can do that!" Actually, my reactions to interesting patterns are usually jealousy (I wish I could do that), longing (I need that beautiful bit of string), or frustration (even if I get up the courage to do it, it will take forever and come out wrong).

So, I have never really felt like a real knitter. I think about knitting a lot (I think about string more often) but I always feel that I can't be a real knitter until it becomes intuitive. I watch women knitting at yarn stores or gatherings or in public and they knit complex lacy bits of knitting without seeming to need to follow a pattern or even look at their hands. Whereas, I cling desperately to my pattern and make little tally marks to track where I am as I go along. That isn't to say that I think the knitting community is unwelcoming - I have actually found them to be quite the opposite. And, as I have become more exposed to knitters in general I have started to feel more open not only to the fact that despite my deficits I might just be a knitter and maybe just maybe I can start to pick up more complex patterns. But for some reason, I needed to hear the author talking about all sorts of different knitters to be able to truly feel like my own particular idiosyncratic tendencies as a knitter have their place. It helped to bring home to me that I am a knitter when I found myself laughing at the knitting-related references/jokes; it helped to draw me into the shared experience that is being a knitter.

I was a little envious (ok extremely envious) of how much the author is able to find knitting time. I have tried traveling with my knitting but I can't seem to manage it in most circumstances (although it never occurred to me to bring my knitting to the movie theater). I found the bus I was too squished and confined; I think I need my elbows to steer when I am knitting which is difficult to do when I am trying to politely hold them in at my sides. Walking by itself is hazardous at the best of times for me so the idea of walking and knitting seems ludicrous (I used to walk home from school and read at the same time and to this day I am not sure how I managed to keep myself from getting hit by a car). And then there is my charting problem. I need my pattern, especially as I start to explore more complicated applications for my knitting. And while my sock knitting has helped me to better understand how things go together to the point that I am starting to learn how to fix my mistakes I still couldn't turn a heel without my pattern.

So knitting has become sort of a special treat for me. It is special time I steal for myself to play with string. It relaxes and inspires me at the same time even if I am frustrated by how little I get to do compared to how much I want to. Some day I will get to knit all the complex things I am afraid of. Someday I will find the courage to frog something I truly loved that didn't turn out. And some day my stash will be epic and will I make no apologies for that.

So Thank you Stephanie Pearl-McPhee for helping to solidfy in my own mind that I am a knitter. It was a wonderful journey and I shall be looking for more of your books.

*In fairness my visual/tactile learning style can't handle reading that isn't a fiction based novel (I think my dreams of grad school are probably doomed).